The Waiting Game

so here it comes all of the shit from the second day it become stone, what is more wonderful than the actual truth would be revenge.

A cold dagger through the heart!

u fell in love with someone but me the world has sorrow written all over it.. my depression has become the best of me... i now know i love you but i haven't been able to articulate my feelings ... i love you i love you why can't you hear me? am i talking to you? i am scared, you left me in the dark sweeping the sorrow of my eyes under the rug... but i love you don't you hear me! please don't go please let me shed a tear for us but nothing comes out nothing but depression nothing but sorrow i am weeping right now for us because my head can't take more of this ... can't you see can't you feel... my human tears are gone now i am not a human any more because of you because of our love...

The Stroke of Death!

the television was on. glued to the next scene. the hands of time, chime; to the sound of death... chirping away ... am i going to die tomorrow? the thought echoes, the air in my head. the motion of time... the motion of time... the motion of time.... the clock struck midnight my lungs propelled the motors of my current heartbeat... panic struck 1 am... spring is here... trying my hardest to imagine the truth of the situation but love has come and gone and so has my last breath echoed the stroke of death! -Kyle - "i thought it wasn't clear until i corrected myself"

so here we are.....

its a rainy day in the forest of eve and now i see nothing but a complicated journey into the patches of clouds on the screens not sure what more i could ponder ponder on the simplest things ... how does one have more then 3 dimensions in its eyes the little boy asked... not sure if i could cry or simply just get popped into the thirsty days of an alcoholic no body and so it happens ... the moment i have been waiting for neither dead nor alive one could only hope to see what the future brings... a voice said taste the sweetness to my inner membrane ... a lost clause was a simple gesture lost in the title wave i scream for peace making the line as we speak . human energy would further go on as the lies compared to each other... now what do i say what do i need ... a murder case is created in the pit of his stomach.... the is really neat i say to myself "lost in the shadows i am not sure what more i could of done is this HD quality or simple analog arithmetic the language of math has yet to be untold....

September 10. 2014

Journal Entry with a forced action! today i couldn't go further then anger and discomfort really pissed off! not sure what to make of this human emotion anger/ i feel like screaming inside walking on thin ice for so long now and what more could i have done to it ... what more could i have said that wasn't further from the truth... i scream every day ... screaming from with in the sheets of this coffen that is no further than a misfortune... but i quiver wondering what would have been there for a fruther decision the shadows of my heart go further from the truth ... typing away from the incotinence of the truth... blah blah blah the truth and now i am here in the library wondering what i have done to it ... what could i have done to it... the truth that is of course... a diagnostic sequence of events that i couldn't stand and yet its a true feeling that i am so much more from screaming with in the bossom of my chest.... not having a panic attack more so a indivual asset of anger be-stowing my icontince... my hands are cutting off my legs hurt my body is non existed but what could i have done to further myself away from the situation what could i have done is echoing inside of my head.... i screamed out loud for the last time today ... spitting at the wall that seemed to be echoing sounds of an evil womens voice controling my actions controlling my thoughts... i strived as much to get away from it but i couldn't today... i couldn't today and now i have all this energy to further myself from the truth ... and what do i get it from it ... i am free writing my emotions today and now these emotions these feeling were broadcasted on faceboook for the majority of the public to judge and opionate my emotions.... take a deep breathe i say to myself but i further there thoughts through my own emotions trying my hardest to simply take a deep breath and forget about the subtle differences in the wind... is this true i say to myself each day i wake up is this emotions true, a next chapter or next stanza for my angered thoughts that i am free writing in typing my furthered human emotions that are some what retarded.... highly medicated to the point of no return what would i make of nothing i say to myself? what would i make of this day ? but i am given an emotion of anger... AHHHHHHHHHH! real monsters i scream from a coma inside of a nickelodeon commerical does this all make sense to me but what but what what i can't do is that my hands are tied tightly around this ugly ugly doomed future... deep breaths as i am pushing out this unborn baby but it isn't an unborn baby its an egg a golden egg that i couldn't go further from the truth which i am repeating my motions and angered emotions trying to organize my thoughts today they are constipated and frustraded as if a bowel movement wouldn't come out of my body A FUCKING BOWEL MOVEMNT ! A PIECE OF SHIT ! THAT doesn't want to come out and i am on the toilet screaming for release. 1. i am angry 2. why am i feeling this way 3. do i think i am who i think i am ? 4. why did i post information from my mind to facebook about nucleur spills... 5. who is my superior 6. who do i work for 7. who is there judging me 8. who can i now become 9. the bloody truth is where i am coming from the drugs out there are now blood hungered... 10. why o why o why o why am i free writing out these emotions to further myself into more of a grave... 11. man-bear-pig? 12. another south park episode playing out in my head again!!!! 13... we are all connected but where is the line drawn fro personal thoughts and what do we share and what can were can go into the future? 14. therapy ... 15. medical research.... 16. who is watching me! 17. who is judging me! 18... completely illerate to the sounds of the hungry eyes watching me 19. is this nothing more than a book or story or somewhat a televised scene where my emotions are what you eat ... hungry eyes seeking my misfurtone ... 20. wanting to be left alone 21. wanting to leave this emotions behind and move forward but what now! 22... what now!!! 23. wanting so bad to cry 24. wanting so bad to make sense of this retarded emotions or expressions or lsd perceptions ... 25... today i was spitting at the wall and my cat fiourous with anger that i didn't understand... 26. like a lab rat 27. like a dog 28. like an ugly duckling 29.

RIP zamora

Court dates and imaginary boyfriend dates

i start off to day and mostly every other day the same way....

and it ends with me cleaning up dog shit at the end of the day....